Avoid and repeat

And when I close that book.

His book.

after all these years.

Peeling back the pages,

all that’s left is sadness

at the core.

But my sadness

doesn’t belong to him

anymore.

Sadness

trickling down the spine.

But it’s not a story.

No, it’s not a story.

At least

it’s not the story

I imagined

that lingers behind,

now.

When closure comes in the shape of him

only shadows and shame

remain here

And when faceless bodies between the sheets,

when faceless bodies between my thighs retreat

They reveal a game of

avoid and repeat.

Avoid and repeat.

Avoid and repeat.

Clarity hits hard.

Bodies dressed as distractions

in different disguises.

Some of them lessons,

some of them liars.

Protecting my mask

from shattering.

Excusing the past

from mattering.

Avoid and repeat

Avoid and repeat

Avoid and repeat.