Bitter/sweet

I count to ten

his footsteps fade a slammed door creaks open

loaded echoes fill the space

A bitter silence will mark the end

But it won’t belong to him

because he is lost now too.

And I can’t inspire love anymore

can’t feel his tainted heartbeat

like I could before.

Tricks and truth blend

And straight lines begin to bend

a broken heart opens

and poison seeps in

He severs links with my friends

And these shadows, they belong to him

but I must live there too.

And I can’t inspire hate anymore

can’t feel his jealous seething,

Like I could before.

Tricks and truth blend

Straight lines begin to bend

He weaponises weakness,

Then weaves a web of

sticky

fleeting sweetness

merges violence with kindness,

my love

brings just solitude

and bleakness.

And in this darkness

he finds a home for fantasy

A safe place to pretend.

To use confusion

to rebuild his strength.

For he says

I have made him this way

And so

control holds the cure

his words tangle with reality

Corrupting perception

until I don’t know my mind anymore.

They cling to every thought

I thought

I knew

For his delusions are my burden

and I must repent of them too.

And I can’t inspire love anymore

can’t feel his tainted heartbeat

like I could before.

And I can’t inspire hate anymore

can’t feel his anger seething,

like I could before.

And he can’t mark my fate anymore

His power is fleeting

can’t fill my soul with shame

like he could before.